Important Issues to Discuss with your Adult Children

Thanksgiving is the time that families traditionally get together. The kids will probably come home with the grandchildren or you will be visiting with one of them. Chances are there will be lots of talk about who is cooking the turkey or the vegetables and who makes the best pumpkin pie but I would like to suggest that you take a little time over this holiday weekend, while everyone is gathered, to have a serious conversation.

Americans are living much longer as is evidenced by the fact that seniors over the age of 85 are the fastest growing segment of our population. None of us can imagine not being able to take care of our financial affairs. We would like to think that this is something that usually happens to someone else. The reality is that it can happen to anyone, at any age.

All too often I will hear retired senior citizens tell me that they don’t want to burden their children with their financial concerns, and their children don’t need any extra work. I agree with those statements; but I also recognize how important it is that you let your children know where to find the important documents and what bank you use, what kind of health insurance you have. There probably is no reason why you cannot handle all of your insurance claims yourself and keep track of the expenses and reimbursements but your children should know what kind of insurance you have. What happens if you become incapacitated, suppose you have a stroke and cannot communicate? You will be making life much easier for your children if they know exactly where to find your insurance ID cards and your medical file. Not telling them anything is putting a much larger burden on their shoulders. The same goes for your spouse. There are husbands who insist on paying the bills, taking care of all of the financial issues and health insurance and not sharing any of this with their wife. When something happens to the husband, the wife has a major headache on her hands. She does not know where to begin. There are times when the situation is reversed. The wife handles everything and she becomes seriously ill or dies and the husband is at a total loss.

I cannot emphasize enough how important communication is between you and your family members while you can still communicate. Hopefully, it will never come to pass that your children may have to get involved. But if they have a little bit of knowledge now, it will make it much easier for everyone later.

Along the same lines, you should also have a Power of Attorney, which is good while you are still alive, and you should have a Living Will ( also known as Advance Directives) in addition to a Last Will and Testament. A Power of Attorney document names the person responsible for all of your financial affairs while you are incapacitated. This is not just for the elderely. Anyone can become incapacitated at any time so everyone should have such a document. You may need an attorney to help you with these documents but you will make life so much easier for your children and surviving spouse if you take care of these issues now. Make sure the children know where the original documents are and be sure to have a copy of each of these documents either somewhere in your house or give a copy to one of the children. Most folks keep the originals in a safe deposit box. Your Living Will (Advance Directives) should be in a handy place in the house as it may be needed on very short notice, especially when an ambulance is required.

Do let the children (or the executor/executrix of your Estate) know what your wishes are. Do it now, while everyone is gathered. It will give all of you peace of mind in knowing that your wishes will be carried out.

Irene Card & Betsy Chandler are both licensed insurance professionals working at MIC Insurance Services, a health insurance services company. If you have questions relative to this column or other related topics, we invite you to call (973) 492-2828, browse our past columns on our web site at www.micinsurance.com.

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