Is your spouse shielding you from the task of paying bills, balancing the checkbook, handling the investments and insurance and keeping you totally in the dark? Perhaps you live alone and are fiercely independent, and have not informed your adult children what bank you use, or what kind of insurance you have. While this is an admirable thing to do, it isn’t practical. If something happens to you, will your spouse know what to do, or will your children know what to do?
All too often we get calls from individuals who have recently lost a spouse, or a parent, and they have no idea how to handle the checking account, which bank to use, what kind of insurance they have, etc. If you are the person who, handles the ‘business aspect of life’ the best gift you could ever give your spouse or adult children is to keep them in the loop. You should teach your spouse everything that you do, so that if something happens to you, your spouse will be able to balance the checkbook, pay the bills and know where the insurance policies are, where the will is stored, etc. If you are living alone, and have adult children, write them a letter and put it in a safe spot. Let your children know where the key is to the safe deposit box, which bank you are using for your checking account, your savings accounts, and where the safe deposit box is. Let them know who handles your investments, who handles your insurance, and where they can find the insurance policies. When dealing with the serious illness or loss of a loved one, these mundane chores can be extremely difficult if you are not familiar or have no idea where to begin. Now is the time to get ‘your house in order,’ so that it will be easier for the person who may have to take over these responsibilities.
One of the most difficult and challenging tasks you can lay on the shoulders of your adult children is to make them responsible for someday finding a nursing home for you. This can be a very difficult decision for all involved. Take charge right now. Determine where you want to live when managing a household becomes too much for you. There are many Continuing Care Retirement Centers. A Continuing Care Retirement Center is usually for healthy, independent people. At least when you move in that is how you will be. Most Continuing Care Retirement Centers (CCRC) will also have assisted living facilities and skilled nursing facilities on the property. As you age and need more and more assistance, you will be able to move to whichever type of living you require.
We have one client whose husband handled everything. He knew she would not know where to begin. This man died within the last few months and spent time at his computer writing a letter to his wife with detailed, step-by-step instructions of everything she had to know. Insurance premiums were automatically deducted from the checking account and he gave her the names of the companies and the dollar amount so she would make sure she always had an adequate balance in the checking account for these automatic withdrawals. He listed the account numbers, the contact people at the bank, where the insurance policies are, what he wanted her to do with the house, etc. This man thought of every little detail. His wife said to me that it was the best present he ever gave her. She was overcome with grief at his passing and at her lack of knowledge at how to run the business side of their household. He made it so easy for her.
Perhaps, you should think about doing the same for your spouse or adult children.
Irene Card & Betsy Chandler share the responsibilities of running Medical Insurance
Claims, Inc. a health insurance services company. If you have questions relative to this
column or other related topics, we invite you to call (973) 492-2828, browse our
past columns on our web
site at
www.micinsurance.com.
* * *
All content copyright © 2002 Medical Insurance Claims, Inc. unless noted otherwise. All rights reserved.